It was the usual – 

            The parents passed the wine

            Once they were sure 

            The kids had gone to sleep

            Although the conversation

            Wouldn’t let them rest

            For quite some time –

            And then the silence

            Was a little too uncomfortable

            I naturally abhorred a vacuum

            With the best of them

            So I decided on a whim

            To bring arithmetic to bear

            My partner coughed and waved her hand

            As if to pat me down:

            I paid no heed

            I’d had a glass and,

            Yes, I know that some say

            Drink brings out the truth

            But I could hardly give it credit

            For my declaration, 

            After I had cleared my throat,

            That one plus one

            Was always either

            More or less

            Than two

            (I couldn’t speak for other numerals

            Of course)

            There wasn’t much applause

            But that set off another round

            Of talk about the progeny

            That bore the evening toward its end

            Before we left 

            A lawyer’s wife

            Took me aside

            She had a Ph.D. in Number Theory,

            I was told, and

            Rings around her eyes

            That I could clearly see

            Which I suppose was why

            As things transpired

            She couldn’t seem to get enough

            Of my philosophy