Whenever things got to be too much

            Growing up

            I took a walk in the woods

 

            I’m not sure how it all got started –

            The game

 

            Although it was more than a game or

            Sport, really

            Far more serious and fun

            Because it teased me into a

            Frenzy of trial and hope and trial again

 

            The first time may have been

            When I got the news about my brother

            Or when my first real girlfriend

            Became an ex out of the blue

 

            Looking up into the blue from between the trees

            The earth cold and hard at my feet

            Littered with the leaves that had drifted

            From their heights

            I could see them, one or two, flutter down

            Haphazardly,

            Twisting and riding on the unseen drafts

            That loosened them

            Like spectral dories

            So I began the chase

            Having to watch my step

            For rocks and ruts and

            Taking care not to run into a trunk or

            Trip into a stream

 

            Sometimes I snatched one

            Inches from the ground

            Breathlessly

            Only to find that I had

            Crushed it as I broke my fall

 

            It seemed a defeat for both of us

            The solitary leaf and I

 

            Spotting another

            High above and flame-like

            Against the canopy

            Towards which I craned

            I vowed a vow:

            To pluck it by the stem with

            Thumb and forefinger alone

 

            I wasn’t thinking about delicacy or reverence

            It just seemed right

 

            Gently I laid my captives, never many,

            With their mates

            To be trampled perhaps

            Or, unmolested, to decay

            And then I trundled home

            Ready to face the overmuchness of the world

            Another day

 

            Such leaf-thoughts came to me

            One autumn morning next to her

            Wondering at the long disheveled hair

            Across her shoulder and her back

            Rising and falling and changing hue

            With every breath

 

            Once again an errant boy

            I reached with forefinger and thumb

            And tried to separate a single strand

 

            It might have been my clumsiness

            Or simply fate

            But she awoke before I could achieve my ends