They were always dignified about it

            When they sent us to our rooms

            My brother locked his door and

            Listened to the radio –

            He wasn’t much to read

            I kept mine open just a crack

            But I could never hear exactly

            What they said

            Though how they said the things

            I couldn’t hear seemed worse

            Than whispering: it made me

            Think of places like Antarctica

            Or Space

            It wasn’t even words but more

            Like fluid moving slowly

            Down a drain

            As I waited for the drips to stop

            I got Ideas – you see, I thought

            Like a Philosopher about a cause,

            Or causes, and the role of time and

            How the further back something occurred

            The less we tended to attribute blame:

            And really, when you thought about it hard,

            What passed a moment or 

            A billion years ago was just as

            Irretrievable . . .

            When mom peeked in at me

            I rubbed my eyes

            As if I’d been asleep

            Pretending not to see 

            The bruises on her cheeks

            They weren’t really visible

            Because my father wasn’t violent

            Like that: I just could tell

            Their tenderness and burn

            The way an older son

            Who’s had his share of hugs

            Is able to, and yearned

            For shoulders big and wide

            As my philosophising petered out

            It happened, finally, one day,

            And it was just the three of us

            Of all the things I marvelled 

            That my mom could do –

            Like handle hot potatoes without gloves

            Or wipe up milk that spilled

            So that it disappeared without a trace –

            She showed her strength the most

            By making it okay for me 

            To keep my dreams and 

            Save my arms the extra weight

            A lesser mother 

            Would have welcomed

            Quietly